what wld i say if i had the courage?

..., i din noe, how and when did it start.
i found myself enticipating each day, all because i cld see u once more.
all of a sudden i get the habit to appear online
all because i get to speak to u.
i was happy at the sight of u
i din how it came to be this way
i enjoyed talking and being jus nex to u
i tot we cld have an enjoyable last few days tgt
though we might nt be tgt, i had hope the last few days would be worth remeberin
but.
i felt the sudden change
in the way we interacted
though u din express it
u were avoiding me
i cant fathom why
i wish i knew, i really do.
if u happen to see this, perhaps u might wanna let me know why
let me know if its jus me, or u really did avoid me
i noe,
some frens say the time we've known each other was so short
so how cld i be accurate?
but i feel in relations
time is rarely the measure of it
and there's this thing called senses
it never lies
i dun think i'll ever get the courage to let u noe
i din wanna ruin the friendship.
i had hopes that i';; finally get a someone
to be with truly
i had hope i might get to celebrate valentines nex year
i had the joke played on me instead
the whole world knows now, do u?
ppl always tell me let nature take its course
but u know wad?
its exactly the amount of time that nature takes
that is able to kill someone's heart indefinately
at times i envy others
its really so painful
i cant fathom what are u thinkin, ...
at times, i tot our feelings were mutual, or isit?
at times, i wonder is it good to know the truth?
at times, i wonder when i said i'd give up, is that the truth?
at times, i wonder when i said i'd give up, is that the truth?
or am i jus using it as an excuse to have an easier, less painful way out?
have i truly given up? y cant i answer my own questions?
am i strong enuff to still put on a neutral face in front of u?
i hear things, but thats jus wad other interpret from u
are they true?
oh for goodness sake, where are your answers?
shld i get them?

~*