what wld i say if i had the courage?

..., i din noe, how and when did it start.
i found myself enticipating each day, all because i cld see u once more.
all of a sudden i get the habit to appear online
all because i get to speak to u.
i was happy at the sight of u
i din how it came to be this way
i enjoyed talking and being jus nex to u
i tot we cld have an enjoyable last few days tgt
though we might nt be tgt, i had hope the last few days would be worth remeberin
but.
i felt the sudden change
in the way we interacted
though u din express it
u were avoiding me
i cant fathom why
i wish i knew, i really do.
if u happen to see this, perhaps u might wanna let me know why
let me know if its jus me, or u really did avoid me
i noe,
some frens say the time we've known each other was so short
so how cld i be accurate?
but i feel in relations
time is rarely the measure of it
and there's this thing called senses
it never lies
i dun think i'll ever get the courage to let u noe
i din wanna ruin the friendship.
i had hopes that i';; finally get a someone
to be with truly
i had hope i might get to celebrate valentines nex year
i had the joke played on me instead
the whole world knows now, do u?
ppl always tell me let nature take its course
but u know wad?
its exactly the amount of time that nature takes
that is able to kill someone's heart indefinately
at times i envy others
its really so painful
i cant fathom what are u thinkin, ...
at times, i tot our feelings were mutual, or isit?
at times, i wonder is it good to know the truth?
at times, i wonder when i said i'd give up, is that the truth?
at times, i wonder when i said i'd give up, is that the truth?
or am i jus using it as an excuse to have an easier, less painful way out?
have i truly given up? y cant i answer my own questions?
am i strong enuff to still put on a neutral face in front of u?
i hear things, but thats jus wad other interpret from u
are they true?
oh for goodness sake, where are your answers?
shld i get them?

~*

doesnt the pain ever go away?

im learning the hard way...
how to take things slow and easy
and we all know
time can sometimes be a knife that is piercing so slowly into the heart.

the pain lingers
i tell my peers
after cryin , i tot it over
but the truth be told
the suffocating pain creeps up on u
wen u least expects it.

alright
i din expect my blog to have so many readings
i tink there're certain things i realy cant deny aledi
but i m nt gg to admit it out loud
i duno why
but im so scared
the fear is eating me by showin me the 'other' possiblities
and i cant show it
i can feel myself cryin on the inside
for those who din experience this b4
i dun tink u'll ever get it
the pain is turnin into some kind of tiredness tads draggin my heart to a bottomless pit
i overheard some wisperings on the bus
i think it wasnt for me
i sort of felt that i know who is it for
sucha small thing
it really cuts me up
dun ask me y
i duno (i think its my fav phrase these days)
today only christ mon and i turn up to prac
the prac session sort of turn into a heartfelt sharin session btwn us
it felt good
i wan these friendships to remain forever
but am i capable of it?
will i be able to face the truth and still pretend that things are really good?
omg
i shldnt have such alert ears
den i wldnt be in turmoil now
all i wanted was jus someone who cld be there for me
why is it jus so hard?
omg
im crying......

im a happy girl:)

came across this video jus as i took a break from sewing

"13 ways to tell if a girl likes someone"
1. you feel shy whenever you're near him
2. you read his texts over and over again
3. whenever you see him u smile
4. you start listening to slow and meaningful songs
5. you laugh at his jokes even if they are not funny
6. he becomes mostly everythng you think about
7. when ppl say you like him, you deny it- but later u thin k maybe you do
8. you would anything for him
9. you blush whenever he complements you
10. you find yourself starin at him all the time
11. you stare at his number wishin you had the courage to cal him
12. you always wish his gonna come up to you and say that he loves you
13. you were thinking about him the whole time you were watching this video


~jetaime♥

whew. wad a day

i have jus officially manage to properly settle down at home like only now
its a really tiring day
but as we all know heavens hav a way of makin things blend and balanced out in the end
i slept at like 4 in the morning yesterday
i cant believe how hard i studied
i dun tink i have ever studied so hard in my recent life
i was freaked out in the morning
cos as usual(fuck!) i was late
i dun understand how can i be late even for my papers?!
i gotta learn to be disciplined!!!
i was late 15 mins for the paper
but i was so frus cos i tot i had studied for nthin last night
the paper was freakin EASY
i finished it in 15mins inclusive of one round of checkin
i was so frus!
so i left the room to cool myself down
luckily, Ricky Phua said there was another paper
essay-styled. so i din study for nth
whew- its weird why do i feel relieved that there's an extra paper?
lqtm. so nt me
i did pretty well for the papers
so i guess i m pretty much prepared for mon and tues paper
*wink wink*

so delighted to meet my girls today!!!
and i finally got mym Pressie from them
its a grey cardi from uniqlo!
I LOVE IT!
its in the checkered pattern i love (thanks to mina!)
the dessert was great! love the chocolate macadamian flavour:)
but i somehow still the layout @ orchard central's lvl 8 -House Loft a lil weird
the Ben and Jerry like doesnt really have a proper linkin theme
and its nt really a soothin ambience
so i dunno:0
anyway its the lovely company i basked in today
so i shall forget abt the interior design then
cant wait to see them again nex week!
i wanna watch soroity row with them!


i finally managed to puck up my courage to take the first step today:)
really pleased and happy:)
it was really a spur of the moment thingy
so i was like woa! i actually got it done!
hahaha*cant stop grinning!*
somehow i get to have some 'alone' time with him
heavens is fair (in some ways ) to me afterall:)
had dinner with my icg peeps first b4 meetin mina, emi, ong
this the part heavens isnt good to me
was i obvious in ways i din know?
somehow J and A were like discussin abt the who like who issue with regards to him
and they link to me
i was taken aback
seriously
din expect them to sudden start the topic
i duno how to describe how i feel
confusion is there
J says he likes me, A says he likes C
how do i know>
im curious really
haiz- my train of tot is gone i tink
i suddenly rmb wad jeanine said b4:
"there’s a special someone out there for everyone, you don’t have to look for that person, that person will find you"
has he?

~*

the air seems cleared:)
happy birthday emi:)-cant wait to see my girls on fri:

as for the rest, (blush) i gotta treasure the time left.

i duno wads gg on...or wad went on.

sometimes, i find i m a too sensitive person.
i m really not sure if thats a plus or minus.
i feel like some friendships are slippin thru my fingers.
Like sand, slippin away.
i cant seem to grab on.
i really duno wads gg on .
i really treasure these relations.
but i have no idea how to keep them.
im really sorry.
i din noe how things came to be this way.
pls. somebody
enlighten me?

i think im having the beginning signs of fallin in L.O.V.E.

The (Bloody) Big Picture

i m getting really sick of the big picture
i hate it now
my mum is ridiculous
i dunno how we can get into a fuckin stupid fight
over my hair
it was really childish
i know the way i answered her wasnt really polite
but the question itself was stupid
i was gg to wash my hair anyway
so wads wrong was twisting it in plaids for a short while?
i cant comphrehend
and now she's still not tokin to me
wad am i like suppose to do?
honestly, i do not tink i was in the wrong
but i really do not need a period of civil war at home right now
esp wen feelings of discontent are brewin within me
i dun wan those feelins i experience 2 years ago to ever come back
they are disgusting feelings
but she's makin it have a comeback
im tired of these kind of childishness in a parent
once in a while, its cute for a parent to throw childish behaviour ard
cos it helps to bond the family
but tad much?>? i tink not.
so anyway, i was again tinking of the idiotic big picture
so i damn begrudingly sent an apology sms to her.
and obviously, she wldnt reply
but i din expect her to come home and still haven got over it
its frigging discomfortin
im at a busy period of my life now
makin the dresses before prom
studying hard for the finals
tryin to find a part time
im like workin hard for my own life now...
i dun wan for this kind of silly actions to appear in my house
haiz
really, how do i get her to understand?
tad we are no longer young,
these kind of so call punishment is only applicable for years 12 and below.
im not gg to give in anymore
i wun speak to her, unless she opens her mouth first
im like so not in the wrong
who ask her to start this whole thing first
even my sis agrees with me that its childish
sis will nt be able to understand now
cosi dun tink she will be gg down the same route as me
but i feel, as sis gets older, she'll comphrehend that certain matters
its not that if u dun travel there, u wun meet it
these issues will come to u in some form or another.
cos now she getting the same things/words/actions from mum, as i did weni was her age.
see.?
and sis is giving her my reactions. Lol. no wonder we are sisters
i came to a realisation last night
we used to say our family is close knitted
(some of ya wld know why we're knitted:>)
but actually, i feel my family is United & Loyal to each other.
BUT, not Close.
its depressing. to have to realise this now.

and the results are.....

i got my dealership results today.
and the results are...
i Got all A's!!!!
Woo-hoo!
YAYS to the max!
damn shiok!
hahhhahaha...okokok (calm down calm down!)
so far so good yup
now having supervisory course... lecs are really killin' me
i cant stand jus sittin there and listen
i know rickie is doin his best to liven up the lesson...
but i really hor, i cannot take jus mono-lessons....
so sorry la

ok and another piece of good news, ppl!
i jus recieve an email frm Fr3B that i have won a hamper as i am selected for ACNES blogger campaign of the year!
double Woo Hoos!
haha... damn cool
i din expect to get it:)

so ladies! do click on the link above to get ur free membership from FR3B
there's lotsa of products to sample there!
and all u have to do is to write reviews and earn points and use those points to get more samples!
its really easy! so fo try it soon ya?

hahaha.. wad a wonderful day today!

wad a great way to start the weekend!
and another plus point: i finish creatin my very own Mannequin !
its not professional lookin' but its totally mine!( it looks architectural though)
will post up pics of it nex time :)


~great life great friends great future

Dior Oui Ring!!!

wen i was studyin (almost done!), i came across this super lovely ring Jeanine posted on her blog :bamboopandalove.wordpress.com

the Dior Oui Ring!

i really love it!!! to bits!!!

i dun tink i can ever get it

so i jus wen to make one out of sliver wires...

lol... its so diff from the original...

but u know , cant have my cake and eat it too right?

jus gotta settle for second best!

lol

tell me how u guys find it ya?

loves~

ps. thanks to jeanine for finding out this ring!:)