im THE FOOL

things get more and more deciving...
or isit that guys are simply deciving?
wad i tot wasnt wad it is, is it?
wad u meant wasnt wad it meant, isit?
wad they heard wasnt wad its suppose to be, isit?
how i felt, jus wasnt meant to be?
and things hasnt really started at all
why are things this way?
why am i this way?
why am i always a fool wen it comes to love?
i wanna find someone whom i can truly share my tots with
someone who can advise me, support me, comfort me.
who can i look to?
wad those signs i tot u were giving me, not signs at all?
i feel like im so despereate some times
i feel like a 'hua chi'
like if theres a guy who looks at me more, who toks to me more,whos beside me more
is actualy someone who is interested in me
can u like someone at first interaction?
is it possible?
i hate it wen i cant be sure of things
i hate it.
all these years, whenever i felt, or so i tot i felt, something from or for a guy,
i'll try to supress it
i'll try to not notice it
cos i was so sure, things arent there
things wont work out or im jus dreaming again
in the end,
thats how it truly happens
and my heart will cry blood
its so painful
and yet in front of others
i still have to pretend
PRETEND.
as if its a normal day life
i still have to make ppl laugh
imagine happy
its so so so so hurts
HURT.
things truly happen.
the guys, they wot notice me anymore
and im the one with initatives
i tried getting to know u first
become friendly
and wen i tot things cld get better
phoof
its gone
jus like how it is now again..
thats how im feeling now
question: y?
y cant i be happy for once?
after so many years
shldnt U let me have a chance?
shldnt U?
PLs. this is the countless time ive asked or the word pls has been used
.....
omg...this is crazy.....