flowers, scents, dew, kisses

hate the stupid weather
its forever HUMID!!!
its really no wonder isnt it> that i wan to leave Singapore:
its such a pity i cant join my ICG peeps on sat to go on the boat
sigh,, it further emphasise my intent to start 'fighting' for my own freedom
i tink i reached the stage whereby i begin to hate doin housework
i tink i reached this stage abit eariler then many others
other ppl start to feel tad way perhaps at age 26 &above?
but im like barely 20 and i feel this irritating feeling
its really because i started housework at like 11 or 12
so ive been like doin it for abt 8 years aledi?
i really dunno
was it a waste of time?
cos ive been wondering
all those sats or sundays i spent at home doin housework
how much did i miss?
how many ppl did i miss?
what things did i not do?
and these few days
im beginning to feel that my mum's taking me for granted
its like wen i go to sku on weds for DSE
i will not have the time and energy to iron clothes
but my mum will come home and ask me why din i iron clothes>
i really have no idea wad to say
how do tell her wad i truly feel
i actually feel that its suppose to be a mother's job
to get the housework done
yes i know she's tired from being the main pole of income
but really, as a proper mother, pls know wen its time to cut down the amount of housework
and allowed to conduct a proper young adult's life
yes, no doubt its also a daughter's position to help out her mum
but i feel a mother shld not take it for granted
that i MUS be doin it
other mums understand the impt of knowing wen to let their child go on their own ways wen they reach of age
how come my mum doesnt?
while takin it for granted that i have to do housework, she also restricts my freedom
im like 20 but! ive never slept over at a frens' b4
ive never been to a club
ive never been out lata den midnight
ive never been allowed to breathe true freedom
yes i had a very serious conv with them wen i was 18/19
they say they will give me my freedom gradually
yes the time curfews were extended
BUT the ultimate thing is
The CURFews are still there
as long as there're there it doesnt change anything
my desperation is increasing
i dunno where my deadline is
i really cant wait to start work
its like only weni start work i can create opps for myself to leave them officially
i dun understand why does it have to be this way
i mean, im sure u guys can understand how embarrassin it is to always have to be the one
who leaves b4 11, and the reason is " cos i have a curfew by my parents, im afraid to be scolded for being home late?"and im aledi 20.
i cant even decided weni want to be home
i know how this may sound to some of u
that im jus behaving like some spoilt child throwin my missy trandums
but can u undestand?
for the past 20 years of my life
i literally have to FIGHT for my own freedom
at its at an extremely terrifyingly slow rate
if i din work hard on my own
i probably still dunno so many things
i'll jus be a dumbass
i wont even be a bimbo( cos they are pretty though they are dumb), im not even pretty
ARRRG
these few days i can almost taste desperation in my mouth
i m tryin really hard to keep those unhappy emotions under control
and wad makes things worse>?
there's not only 1 desperation
oh pls heavens,
why do i hav to go through so much turbulent emotions?
why wont U show me a teeny wee bit more mercy?