she's really irritating...

i dunno i really dunno her
she tinks that she once in a while
come and nag at me
scream at me with vulgarities
she's being a responsible mother
my dad ask me
why dun u jus explain to her
im like
where's the point?
the more i explain, the more she tinks im tryin to
cover up for my 'bad' actions
im like 20
but i tink she still tinks im 2
she wans me to slp b4 12?
i mean for the past 3 years
i have aledi been used to slpin after 1
and, its just that i happen to be wearin my specs
in the morning cos i worked on the sewin for KY's farewell gift till like 4 plus
so my eyes were like really tired for one day becos of that
only one day u know
and she tinks she the MOTHER
she knows everything abt me
she tinks she understands
ohh pls
now she's screamin if u dun wanna take care of ur eyes now
from TODAY onwards, if ur eyes gt any problem
DUN COME and find me!!!
i wun bother abt u at all!
im like FUCK YOU!
u nv even realy care b4
so what difference does it really make now?
i really find it so SAD
today i saw KY , my best fren, off to HK for her further studies
I WISHED WISHED WISHED SOOOOOOOOOOO HARD
TO LEAVE WITH HER AS WELL
omg im crying
on the inside cos they are still nt asleep
its really saddening
for a mother to nt even be able to understand a lil bit of the deeper emotions of her own daughter
after 20 years
how is it possible for this to happen?
how can she still nt understand
i cant wait to start work
i jus cant wait
once i get in
i'll try my best to ask for transfers to overseas departments
pls my peers, pray hard for me
pla pray that i may leave here soon
i love my family including her
BUT
i need to be away from them a period
otherwise
i dun tink i'll be able to cherish them
be fore i really lose it and lose them forever

OMG, i really miss u KY.
come back soon
i miss.....so much.

i got this wallet.

be envious:)

HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

omg , i tink im going to cry:)
Lol,, okok im gettin' a lil' bit emo here
hahaha
i tink this might be my best birthday ever. Yet.:)

firstly, i wanna say a uber BIG THANK YOU to all my ICg frens!!
they are just so cute can
i tink they were gonna surprise me with a birthday cake and singing:)
lol but as i walk to the pantry
vivian walk out but din stop me la
so i walk right into their preparations !
lol somemore i was standing there for a while
b4 Li Shi realise im there!
LOL
i abit surprise:) i din all of them to celebrate for me
*tears on the verge of my eyes*
in the end i tink almost the whole class was in the pantry!
lol(gave one piece to Raj too! hopefully my exam can get better grades)

~*~

the best part of all was dinner time!
i met up with my 2 gems YT & KY
we had dinner at xin wang taiwan cafe:)
lol:) I WAS STUFFED man!
the 3 of us ordered 4 main dish, 1 side dish, 2 dessert and 2 drinks
hahaha... really alot right?!
den after dinner
we walk to esplanade and sat down at the riverside
its was really good
i cant rmb the last time the 3 of us
had the time and energy to stay tgt and chat bout almost nthing, everything:)
im grateful for the 8 years of friendship
i dun tink i can ever find frens like them anymore
they are like family:)
i really love them
today was the best prove of our deep relations
we cld jus sit there under the skies and tok so much rubbish
if it wasnt for the rain
i dun tink we know the time at all
love cld run cold, family cld leave you
but i believe our friendship will withstand all storms and provide the closet support ever
and i believe
i've already been given the best present ever for my birthday:)
thank you so much, my loves:)

on a side note: ky u owe me somethingy, and thank goodness u finally give me back my book!
lol why din u just finish writing the story? it was brillant!

Yt, Ky, Me


the night scene @ esplanade



the lost book & I


Ky & I ( Normal version)


YT & I (Normal Version)


the side dish ( the one that we gt cheated of)

KY & I (Funny Ver.)

YT & I (Funny Ver.)

HAHAHA ... SO Funny!

drained.

very long din blog
cos this few days really feel drained
all the turmoils of the *heart*
damnit
and my IE8 is super uncooperative
wth
but its pretty good that mum win 4d
so tonight manage to get a pretty fillin' dinner @ mahattan's
the mocktail was really good
i love the blue paradise compared to simply red though
well

my class is thinking of havin a class trip to genting
i wish to go
but i dunno whether to go
but the most impt thing is
how to convince my parents?
its the golden question
any ideas peeps?

Happy Birthday Daddy!

this is the first year our whole family celebrated Daddy's birthday exactly on the dot at 12 midnight:)
lol:) i will treasure the feelin of havin all my most loved family ard to celebrate one of our birthday(s):)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD!
ps. curretnly jus finish making his bdae card:)

damn sleepy ...ciao~

hate the stupid weather
its forever HUMID!!!
its really no wonder isnt it> that i wan to leave Singapore:
its such a pity i cant join my ICG peeps on sat to go on the boat
sigh,, it further emphasise my intent to start 'fighting' for my own freedom
i tink i reached the stage whereby i begin to hate doin housework
i tink i reached this stage abit eariler then many others
other ppl start to feel tad way perhaps at age 26 &above?
but im like barely 20 and i feel this irritating feeling
its really because i started housework at like 11 or 12
so ive been like doin it for abt 8 years aledi?
i really dunno
was it a waste of time?
cos ive been wondering
all those sats or sundays i spent at home doin housework
how much did i miss?
how many ppl did i miss?
what things did i not do?
and these few days
im beginning to feel that my mum's taking me for granted
its like wen i go to sku on weds for DSE
i will not have the time and energy to iron clothes
but my mum will come home and ask me why din i iron clothes>
i really have no idea wad to say
how do tell her wad i truly feel
i actually feel that its suppose to be a mother's job
to get the housework done
yes i know she's tired from being the main pole of income
but really, as a proper mother, pls know wen its time to cut down the amount of housework
and allowed to conduct a proper young adult's life
yes, no doubt its also a daughter's position to help out her mum
but i feel a mother shld not take it for granted
that i MUS be doin it
other mums understand the impt of knowing wen to let their child go on their own ways wen they reach of age
how come my mum doesnt?
while takin it for granted that i have to do housework, she also restricts my freedom
im like 20 but! ive never slept over at a frens' b4
ive never been to a club
ive never been out lata den midnight
ive never been allowed to breathe true freedom
yes i had a very serious conv with them wen i was 18/19
they say they will give me my freedom gradually
yes the time curfews were extended
BUT the ultimate thing is
The CURFews are still there
as long as there're there it doesnt change anything
my desperation is increasing
i dunno where my deadline is
i really cant wait to start work
its like only weni start work i can create opps for myself to leave them officially
i dun understand why does it have to be this way
i mean, im sure u guys can understand how embarrassin it is to always have to be the one
who leaves b4 11, and the reason is " cos i have a curfew by my parents, im afraid to be scolded for being home late?"and im aledi 20.
i cant even decided weni want to be home
i know how this may sound to some of u
that im jus behaving like some spoilt child throwin my missy trandums
but can u undestand?
for the past 20 years of my life
i literally have to FIGHT for my own freedom
at its at an extremely terrifyingly slow rate
if i din work hard on my own
i probably still dunno so many things
i'll jus be a dumbass
i wont even be a bimbo( cos they are pretty though they are dumb), im not even pretty
ARRRG
these few days i can almost taste desperation in my mouth
i m tryin really hard to keep those unhappy emotions under control
and wad makes things worse>?
there's not only 1 desperation
oh pls heavens,
why do i hav to go through so much turbulent emotions?
why wont U show me a teeny wee bit more mercy?

i love today's impromtuness

omg it feels really really good to jus jump out straight after training
i love it
( only damp part was i stil had to ask for permission, bloody sickening)
Haha:) i wasnt planning on gg at first
cos i tot daddy was cookin tonight
luckily i decided to try my luck and call home b4 i leave
AND! i found out that he din cook and Bingo! i got to go
so in the end, Alvin, Eric, Edmund, Sinling, Vivian, Evelyn, Christine, Linda, Li Shi, Mandy and I
went for the K-ing Session@ Party World
damn Funny and Shiok! i finally get to sing after like AGES k!
we have so many Singers in our class man:)
i suspect the guys wen to secretly practice b4 the K:)LOL
so today we really 吃吃水果,唱唱歌, 跳跳舞!
pics and vids up @ FB:)
tink i found my hokkien K kaki liao!
lol
Sam came after a movie:) i left by then:) got the STUPID CUrfew!
Fuck. im seriously gonna have a proper tok with my parents
im like always the earliest to leave.
why the HELL isit always ME?
But nevertheless:) im glad for the bonding with them!

updating

i fuckin hell hate blogger now
if it wasnt becase its ma fan to switch to other bloggin areas
i wld have done it right now!
today just before dinner
i was typin this entire week's update
i click on save twice
but in the end my entire episode was deleted!!!!!
fuck fuck fuck.
now i have to retype EVERYTHING!

~*~

thurs was carmen's bdae
sinling and i decided to give her a lil surprise:)
but unfortunately due to our assess timings
the surprise wasnt really a surprise in the end
but i think carmen loved it though( right, dearie?)
i wanted james kiky and zhang ying to join us
so i sent them an English msg
it ended up with a bit laughable "misunderstandings"LOL
luckily kiky called me
otherwise arh...
the cake was really good:)
from emicakes, credits to sinling:)
but wads the best part?
my dearest fren Yt
went down on thurs to turf city!
she went there to get a part time
but the timin wasnt that gd though
she came at bout 4
i finished my assess long ago:)
so i went ard taking pics like crazy
i wanted to load the pics here
but den STUPID BLOGGER!
so u guys have to go my FB to see the pics:)
anyways my stomach just had to be against me that day
i tot i cld go to town with yt
but wen i reach toa payoh my stomach created havoc
so in the end yt had to go home from tp
i am SO SOrry!
i promise i'll be well on wed ya...
cant wait to see yt and ky on wed!

~*~

my other dearest fren ky is leaving for HK
i have to admit
i was alil upset i din know of it from her
but nevertheless
im still worried for her
i am happy for her too
so its a state fo confusion now
but im starting to miss her aledi
i dunno wen are we able to meet face2face again
after she leaves
i really really look forward to seein her on wed:)

~*~

since i finish assess on thurs
(was really happy with it :> got a very good from my trainer!)
i was free on fri:)
i finish up house cleaning on fri(had a lil arguement with sis though)
so that i cld go to MBS's sat dealer recruitment
i jus hav a feelin im gonna see all my ICG frens there soon enuff:)
cant wait to get workin' babe:)

~*~

G2000 HAs FABULOUS SaLES!
i bought my blazer (finally) and another white long sleeve top with french cuffs

at how much only u know?
SGD 61.20!!!!!
can u imagine?
since wen can u get blazers @ SGD 49? plus i got additional 15% off with my parents' CitiBank card:)
i am super happy with it man!!
mummy says it will be my bdae pressie from her
im like yes! LOL
bloddy happy!
now i cant wait to get new shoes
i have my eye on one pair online and another @AMK hub's Mitju:)
and a few more at Charles&Keith
hahaha... omg i tink im getting the Acute Shoes Attraction (ASA) syndrome
haha, i dun ever wanna recover man:)
daddy was askin me today: hy do u need to buy so many shoes?
im like speechless
cos i really dunno how to explain
lol:) im sure jam dearie u understand right?
haha.. i jus NEED them man!

~*~

got my new twitter acct

so wads nex?

lol i gotta admit

twitter's layout is def much better den FB's

~*~

manage to find out a new way to continue my online blogshop
i really pray hard that this time round its gonna be better
pls pls shower some love on me Lady luck
i wonder if i have used up my life's luck quota on those concert ticks( waddaya think Yt?)

~*~

alrighty that concludes the previous week:)
cant wait to start on Bacarrat tmr!
woohoo~


~*~