things seem so testing between him and i
i feel tad (perhaps) he does know
and he is jus trying
my six sense has nv worked better.
i cant believe i cld actually predict it...
though its only one small thing
haiz,
he's a deep person
perhaps thats why he doesnt wanna bring it up yet
but once again
i feel
im running out of time
haiz...

when my birthday comes, will U still be there for me?

my decision is made.

i need to readjust my work future
the work schedule is ridiculous
and the entire affair is silly
and honestly,
why does the reservations need Hotel and Casino>?
and, why does Casino Resservations need to be 24/7?
i dun seee a real need for this
and its makes things so much more complicated for nothing
and PLus pouint
nobody knows wad is Casino Reservations
even the guest asks us wads the difference between C.R and H.R?
i dunno how to answer them in a way that is convincing
shit la
i dont think im gg to stay in the Dept longer then this month....
and this time
HTG is NO longer in the Equation.

feeling horrible now.....
dun think im gg to make it to work tmr

*ps...hmmm gona miss u:)

today wasnt that bad after all:)
at least i know,
that you were looking at me:)

i realised wen i say i wanna give up
im actually wanting to see if anyone will tell me not to give up
now, i actually comphrehend how edmund felt the other time
now i truly understand
lol
i sound ridiculous right?
but thats the truth
and im no longer afraid to say it
this is who i am
why do i wish to hide it?
and the fact remains that i still have hope in my heart
lol
kudos to myself today
i actually managed to avoid all contact (eye or physical)
with HTG
i was tryin so hard
but i think im gg to be normal tmr
lol as if
plus the fact that i know that he is sick
i almost gave in to temptation to msg him
i really wanted to eh
but in the end i miss the time
cos i know he's bound to slp aledi
haiz...silly silly me
what i need to do
is not to forget him
but
to face myself UPFront and Directly
thats why even though i told myself to give up
deep down i still ........

like i said, Silly Me

how can giving up feel so much more hurtful ???