can't life get better?

i feel older each passing day~ its like i have these aches all over me...
its really depressing... i used to think i am the forever optimist... but even optimist have their really down moments.... i detest working with L... he's such an ass. so cal discussion with me, but its more like i give suggestions den he edit.fuck...wen i get him to give me answers, he give me something tad is aledi ongoing... where the fucking hell is his so called inspirational thoughts?
i am starting to feel really sick... sick of everything..
i miss my frens so much... i miss Mina, Emi, ML, WQ... we used to be tgt everywhere we go.. now i hardly even tok to them on the phone... its upsetting... i am like communicating more with A & L more den i am speaking to Mina and Emi.... Arrrgh... i really regret getting into entre... yes i did pick up alot of skills and experience... but its nothing compared to the lost time and interaction with my frens...and the knowledge that they are learning and i dun...the only good thing that is coming out of this is tad Jam and I are almost becoming sisters:)...
i have a feeling A is like looking for me the whole day just to rush me to do things... fuck... i just dun wanna do it...though i still did it in the end... i hate it wen ppl just keep calling non-stop to my phone esp when its over some small and silly matters whereby you use a bit of brain you be able to get it...
A keeps telling me to follow his mass mailing format... oh pls.. if its something really fascinating i will gladly follow...but he gives me kind of work that leads me to wonder : are you serious?... ( he dares to say he put in a lot of effort...wad a joke... to think i once appreciated his hard efforts)
enuff of him~

so freaking tired today as well... jam and i both went to the doc's... she damn cute.. keep harping on the $70 spent... next time i shld bring her to my doc instead ...cheaper...

i seriuosly dun think i am gg to care abt wad others are gg to think about anymore.. its such a draining process... wadeva R.L wans to think let him think...i won be put down by that.. i'll provide him with the evidence he wants to sustain.. (of cos, Jam dear, i'll provide for you too:), we are in this tgt...)

i jus realise something... Vonnie is such a sweetheart (Love ya)and i have been blogging negative stuff for the past 3 blogs..fuck.