so long~

cant believe im actually doin this at work.
heck, i dun wanna care anymore.
how in hell do i still miss him?.
something mus be wrong somewhere in my brain.

Arrrgh!..... i jus dunno wad to do anymore....

im home!!! hahaha,,, i miss being out of the country, i wish i can at least live abroad fro 1 to 2 years,....haiz.........i really hate having to go back to work............... it pisses me off to go work... lol.... but lucky i aledi tendered..... i cant imagine staying there any longer...i also dun wanna go to the propety again.... pls dun send me there AGAIN.
hmmph... i miss the weather at Genting!

all of a sudden, the feeling of "missed" is so strong, i almost wanna take back the letter.
but i know myself too well. this is exactly wad i wish to avoid....

i hate you bee-yotch

u know, it really isnt that some ppl change over time, its just that they take so long( or shld i say their own sweet time ) to reveal their true colours... i really cant stand Ms. DA... she always wan to win, always wans to have the last say... fine... whatever... i fucking hell dun wanna bother abt u anymore... how dare u say those lines."u are full of hatred and jealousy for me." i admit i fucking hell hate u but what on earth is there of you for me to be jealous abt?
check your own credentials babe... which of it is worthwhile for any form of "jealously"?

omfg... thanks to ur lil tok the other nite (actually, it wasnt a tok, it was more like im an audience tgt with another girl, i felt like i was being berated)... i no longer wish to hold back... i din know why but in the beginning i was afraid of you finding out.. but now, who cares.... i believe the word detest no longer suffice.... phew..what a relief ;)

sometimes i really wonder.. will there ever be a treu one for u?...
in any case, ur a person who always eats their words.. u say got any thing shld go straight to u instead of other ppl... but but but :).. din u urself did the same?...lol...what a joke....
and there's this other line: we are all adults, ...dun be so childish. ....... i dun wan this to affect operations." omfg.... who are u to say this to me? *point check of credentials pls*
i dun really intend to say, (it came to me as a sudden inspiration).. ur life currently is proof of childishness.... and puh leaze... dun drag other ppl into conversations and den pretend to wan2 protect them...its sickens me... pffft~!.....

i dont care whoever is readin this.... u may feel like im despicable... but really if i were to care abt every single humane... how am i gg to settle mine? and the bottom line is... i really detest her... u know wad guys? i told her i no longer have any connection to her and if there's nothing else besides work, there's nothing much for us to say.... but (this i din say to her but its expected of basic courtesy) i will still behave respectfully around her... she told me not to be childish but u know wad she did?... her headset got stuck i help her to release it and she's like : hmm, thank (in a really awful tone).. ok fine... i tot to myself maybe i was jus thinking too much...and wen work ended in the morning... the minute she saw i was i walking towards to the door...she released it... not only that, she, on purpose, gather my other 2 colleagues to rush off without me. in other words leave me behind alone... jus to fill up some gaps... i forgot how long was it, for maybe abt 2 to 3 weeks i totally did not speak to her at all ( except wen its needed for work)... if u ask me, its jus that all of sudden i felt really tired of all her antics.. its jus best that i stop all form of communication with her...i admit, at that its really unfair to her.... my apologies...but otherwise still i converse where ever necessary respectfully ... i dun go ard gather ppl to leave "abandon" her alone.... its like wth ....and she got the guts to tell me to dun be 'childish"... best part? she even gave me a "soft" warning to stop all rumors in the office... can u believe it? Warning sia.... i really cant stand her.... FUCK...

but well, after my blaring-out-all in my post i believe i no longer wish to acknowlegde ur presence.... Good bye my 'DArling" all the best to u....lol..im over you.

"You see can't just play with people's feelings
Tell them you love them and don't mean it
You'll probably say that it was juvenile
I think that I deserve to smile
But it don't comfort to my broken heart
You could never feel how I felt that day
Even though all that you did to me was much worse
I had to do something to make you hurt yeah
Oh but why am I still cryin'?
Why am I the one whose still cryin'?
Oh you really hurt me baby
You really you really hurt me baby "

courtesy of Jazmine Sullivan

the ending of our story- he din show or feel a thing. I? i felt a thousand feelings, but only a minute few were good. i believe, we have truly reached the end of the fairy tale. its taken us, or perhaps all these while it was only 'me', more than 8 months to figure the whole thing out. i'll always rmb this episode, will he? i doubt. what else can i do? Nothing. i can only wish him all the best. As for me, starting anew has and will never be easy. i will promise to do my very best and life will start afresh from now on.

i'll bust your windows of your car....

that's exactly wad i feel like doing RIGHT now.
i dunno hw many times a year, i literally feel like doin that.
i jus wanna punch something, anthing.
cos im so afraid that i will take out on her directly.
" i had to do something to make you hurt.
oh but why am i still crying?"
i really wish to do something to make her remember,
but in the end, who gets hurt the most?
ME.

i really hate having to be this tired.
all becos of her.

im gonna make a date with YT and KY that for our 10th friendship anniversary we will meet up in some place that we haven been before in our lives to celebrate it:)

P.s i think we shld do this every decade until our time on earth ends :)